Gundam Wing Jeopardy
by Cruel Angel1
Summary: You heard me. Wufei's hosting with Noin, Quatre, and Duo as contestants. Watch out for Zero-sys Quatre in the end. Poor PenPen


Gundam Wing Jeopardy  
  
Hello and welcome to Gundam Wing Jeopardy. I am your host, Chang Wufei. And we're here to see which of these weakling Onna persons is the not-so weakest-of-the-weakest.  
  
Wufei: And now your Contestants. We have Quatre, also known as pinkie.  
  
Quatre: *waves* Actually, its not pink.  
  
Wufei: IM THE FOOGIN HOST I THINK I WOULD KNOW WHAT COLOR YOUR SHIRT IS AND ITS PINK!!  
  
Quatre: Its white! Everybody, adjust your TV!  
  
Wufei: Suuuuuuure . . . next we have Duo Maxwell. Just to let you know, Duo, we are deducting 100 dollars out of your winnings every time you say my name incorrectly. The best strategy would be to SHUT YOUR INSANE BABBLING!!  
  
Duo: Whatever, Wu-dude!!  
  
Wufei: Why do I even bother . . . and we also have with us Miss Noin. And the categories are:  
  
Anime Crossdressers  
Neon Genesis Evangelion  
Obscure facts concerning movies or TV  
Things the Gundma Pilots would never say  
The Bible  
Obscure facts about GW   
Obscure facts from Real Life  
  
Wufei: Duo, since your the one votest least linkely to win, you pick first.  
Duo: Hm. How about Anime Crossdressers for 500!!!  
Wufei: Why am I not suprised by the weaklings crude thoughts?  
Duo: Get on with it Justice Boy!  
Wufei: Thats 200 dollars.   
Duo: Are you going to host or sit there like a McDonalds frenchfry boy?!  
Wufei:*mutters Kisama under breath* fine.   
Duo: All right then! Whats the question?!  
  
Wufei: On the show Fushigi Yuugi, the meaning of Nuriko's symbol  
Noin: Butterfly  
Wufei: Correct. Of course, you would know that since its a shoujo show . . .  
Duo: Wait, Nuriko's a crossdresser?!  
Wufei: What do you think?  
Duo: Nuriko's my cousin!!!  
Wufei: Oh the irony. Woman, pick your category  
  
Noin: *sigh* Neon Genesis Evangelion for 200  
Wufei: Finally. A dignified show. Too bad that Shinji's like Quatre . . .  
Quatre: Hey! You've dissed everone in the show so far except Miss Noin!  
Wufei: Well, um, do you want me to say something about Noin? *eyes Zechs in the audience*  
Quatre: No! I would never wish anything bad on Miss Noin!  
  
Wufei: Then its settled weakling!! The name of the penguin that lives in Misato's apartment?  
Quatre: Whos pen PenPen!!  
Wufei: How did you know that?  
Quatre: Cuz I have a PenPen plushie!! *hugs PenPen plushie*  
Wufei: Birds of a feather . . . take your pick weakling!!!   
Quatre: The Bible! Jesus loves me . . . Jesus loves you . . .   
Wufei: You my friend need Buddhism. You forgot to say for how much.  
Quatre: I love PenPen . . . PenPen loves me . . .  
Wufei: ¬.¬ fine. Bible for 300.The Onna by the name of Mary Magdeline, who was a close follower of Jesus, was in this dishonourable profession.  
  
Duo: A Male Nurse!!  
Wufei: YOU IDIOT! I JUST SAID SHE WAS AN ONNA!!!  
Duo: How do you know she wasn't a nurse!!  
Wufei: YOU JUST SAID SHE WAS A MALE NURSE!!! ANYONE ELSE??!  
  
*Noin is too busy laughing to buzz, while Quatre looks around confused, holding PenPen plushie*  
  
Wufei: YOUR ALL WEAK BAKAS! THE ANSWER IS A PROSTITUTE!!  
Duo: Oh come on Wu-boy! Male nurse, hooker, what's the difference?  
Wufei: Oh Nataku, why oh why was I not allowed to ride you to the studio?! Noin, you pick.  
Noin: Obscure facts from GW for 200 *holding in laughter*  
  
Wufei: Noin, you can't answer the next question.  
Noin: Why not?  
Wufei: Cuz it would be too easy for you, suprisingly enough. AND I SAY SO ONNA!  
Noin: Fine, ya big baby  
Wufei: This base, which was blown up by yours truly, is where Zechs Merquise and Lucretzia Noin were classmates and graduated together from.  
  
Duo: Oh! I know this one!  
Wufei: This had better be a serious answer.  
Duo: Its . . .   
Noin: *deathglare*  
Duo: Boston Public!  
  
Wufei: NONONO! YOU IDIOT!!!!AARGH!! I SWEAR!! YOU ARE A DODO BRAIN!!!!  
Duo: Am I right?!  
Wufei: What the hell do you think?! Its INCORRECT YOU BLABBERING IMBISULE!! ITAI!!  
Quatre:Its the Lake Victoria Base!!  
Wufei: More correctly, was. But that IS correct!!!  
Quatre: Yippie Skippie! You hear that PenPen! We did it! Hey, whats this?  
  
*Reads tag: Made from PenPen penguin. Stuffed with 100% cotton*  
  
Quatre: Stuffed PenPen?  
Wufei: Yes you onna. That means they killed him, gutted him and then shoved his dead carcass with cotton  
  
Quatre: Waaah!!! Mu-Mu-Muuummmmmyyy!!!!Runs out of the studio crying  
  
Wufei: Um, lets continue before any more sissies run away whining  
  
*Quatre comes back in dressed as a penguin*  
  
Quatre: 1-2-3-4- Stop the Violence and the Gore  
Noin: Quatre, did you remember to take your medication?  
Quatre: 5-6-7-8 Rid the world of Penguin Hate!  
  
Wufei: Ugh, some people . . . Noin, why don't you pick.   
Noin: Sure. How about Neon Genesis Evangelion for 1000?  
Wufei: The official angel name and number of Kaworu Nagisa  
Duo: Oooh! Wu-chan! Pick meee!  
Wufei: Urrgh. Why the hell do I sense that there will be a sever obstruction of justice at hand the moment Maxwell opens his mouth?  
  
Duo: Beats me. Now lemme answer!  
Wufei: *clutches forehead* as host, I am required to say yes  
  
Duo: The angel name and number of Kaworu Nagisa is . . .  
Wufei: In the form of a questiono you weakling!!  
Duo: Mambo number 5!!!  
  
Wufei: WHAAT??!!  
Duo: His angel name is Mambo! And his number is 5!  
Wufei: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE ANIME NEON GENESIS EVANGELION?!!  
Duo: Ive heard of Gundam Wing. Does that count?  
Wufei: AIYAA!! You do realise that each wrong answer subtracts money?! DO YOU?!  
Duo: 0.o  
Wufei: Since Quatre is, erm, occupied . . .   
  
Quatre: 1-3-5-7- May poor PenPen rest in Heaven.  
  
Wufei: Why don't you answer this one, Noin.  
Noin: Tibris, angel 17  
  
Wufei: How the hell do you know so damn much woman?  
Noin: I didn't place 2nd at Lake Victoria for nothing!  
Wufei: Erm, yeah. Listen, I gotta host chapter 2 so lets just move on to final jeopardy.  
  
Duo: ^_^ Chapter 2? Oh joy! I get to bugg out Wu-sushi even more!  
Noin: -_-  
Quatre: ;_; PenPen! Oh why, why?!  
  
Wufei: Right now the curent standings are- Noin with 1500. Whaat? A woman winning?! Then again, she didn't have worthy competition. Quatre, who would have gotten more if it werent for his weak protestings, has 400. And, to the total disgrace of all the cast members of GW, Duo has an astounding total of -1,800.  
  
Wufei: For final jeopardy the question- WHAT?! IM NOT ASKING THIS QUESTION!!  
Noin: WHy not, afraid I won't be strong enough to answer it?  
Wufei: Its an unintegrital quesiton onna0.  
Noin: @_@ Is that a word?  
Wufei: Besides, Duo wouldn't stand a chance  
Duo: Who says I don't?! Hurry up, Deathscythe's waiting for me in the hangar!  
Wufei: *throws original question card away* For Final Jeopardy, just write a single letter.  
  
*everybody writes*  
  
Wufei: Im afraid to see what Duo wrote, but as i have no choice.  
Duo: I made this one especially for you *has a picture of a middle finger*  
Wufei: I SAID TO WRITE A LETTER!! NOT A DEROGATORY SIGN!!! INJUSTICE!!  
  
Wufei: I shall retain my composure . . . Quatre, what did you write? I pray to Nataku that you didnt write some weak passage about that weak dead penguin cadaver of yours . . .  
  
Quatre: neeener neener HEHEHEHHA! MHMHM NYEHEHEEHAHAHAH!!!!  
  
Noin: Aw crap! Not again! Its Zero System Quatre!  
  
Duo: Run for cover!  
Wufei: In the name of justice, the power of Nataku compells you!!! *throws holy water on Quatre*  
Duo: Your not a preist, Wufei! Your not even Christian!! Have you even seen the Exorcist?!  
Wufei: Then you try it smart one.  
Duo: Fine Woofers! Gimme the Holy Water!  
  
Quatre: Kind penguins are shedding blood, but nobody understands them. I won't forget this day. You PEOPLE! I'll make sure you don't either! You'll never regret this day!!!!  
  
Noin: I think that the best strategy . . . would be to run!!   
  
Wufei: Good point Onna! WAI!!  
  
Quatre: HEHAHAHAHH!!!! HEHEHHEHAHAH!!!  
  
Noin: *takes out cell phone*  
Duo: Call Zechs and tell him to bring Epyon pronto!  
Wufei: And call fast woman!! I think he's discovered the emergency cache of guns!  
Noin: *dials* Zechs?! Get over here and bring Epyon! Quatre's gone Zero again!!!  
  
Wufei: And thats all the time we have today for Gundam Wing Jeopardy!! Owari weaklings!  
Quatre: HMMMMMN HEHEHHE HAHAHAHAH HREEEEEERREERER!!!!!!!!  
Funded by:  
  
NERV - National Estrogen Revolution Volunteers  
(For the Eva fans who put up with the inane questions on this show)  
  
OZ (oh dear . . . )  
  
Colony L3X18999 (another uh-oh)  
  
DIC (Dubbing Is Crappy!)  
  
Microsoft Works (an oxymoron!)  
  



End file.
